I found a lost wallet yesterday.
Who has ever found it in life? Who haven't, don't know how is to see a lot of money on it and feel a great will to take. In the end, I gave the wallet back, got the reward and got in peace with my mind.
It comes to the point of 'have we free choice or not?'. Even I think I had, if I hadn't, would I knew? No. It'll like a knot in destiny. My choice was already known by Fate.
This example that happened fit well to I explain my way of view.

Aikido at night, then a little bad talking with my girlfriend I prefer don't talk to much. Hope is not going to a end I see is going to.
I am a little better today, not so 'far away' as other days, at least 'till night, when thoughts arise again. I slept very early yesterday, didn't eat, use the pc neither read.
Only dreams got me as a good life I would life to have, and know, I will never have.

"And if I only could,
Make a deal with God,
And get him to swap our places"

-Running up that hill